Kids Do Well If They Can: Transforming Behavior Support with Dr. Ross Greene

I recently spent a day at K-State for a Kansas Child Care Training Opportunities (KCCTO) event featuring Dr. Ross Greene, the psychologist and author of The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. It was one of those rare professional learning experiences that doesn’t just give you a few new ideas—it actually rearranges something in your brain.

As someone who has long admired Dr. Greene’s work, I wanted to share a resource that has deeply impacted my practice at NeuroInclusive Consulting. While my current focus is centered on neurodiversity-affirming practices, the most frequent request I receive is for training on supporting challenging behaviors. This workshop on "Collaborative and Proactive Solutions" (CPS) offered exactly what is needed: a kinder, more neuro-affirming framework for identifying the root of the problem.

The Core Philosophy: A Shift in Perspective

At the center of Greene’s work is a line I have put on more training slides than I can count: kids do well if they can. It is more than a quote; it is the foundation of his entire approach. According to Dr. Greene, once behavior has already escalated, we are already late. Late in identifying the real problem, late in understanding what is getting in the way, and late in offering the support that might have helped.

If we want behavior support to be effective, it cannot start at the moment of explosion, shutdown, refusal, or dysregulation. It has to start much earlier. Behavior is not the end point—it is data. By noticing patterns and identifying unsolved problems, we can understand where expectations are colliding with lagging skills. That shift feels truly transformational.

Treating Behavior as Information, Not the Villain

What I appreciate most about Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) is that it does not ask us to lower the bar or pretend that hard moments do not matter. Instead, it asks us to stop making behavior the villain so we can get curious instead of reactive. 

So many neurodivergent kids are interpreted through deficit, willfulness, or behaviorist language that focuses on compliance over connection. CPS gives us a framework for staying respectful and collaborative while taking real challenges seriously. It forces adults to slow down and understand the mismatch between a student and the demands being placed on them.

Practical Tools for Change: The ASUP

One of the core tools in Greene’s model is the ASUP (Assessment of Skills and Unsolved Problems). This tool moves adults away from vague language like “he’s just defiant” and pushes us toward specific, respectful questions:

• What skills is this child having trouble accessing consistently?

• What specific expectations are hard for them to meet?

• When and where does the problem tend to show up?

• Which unsolved problems should we prioritize first?

Key Resources and Next Steps

For those interested in exploring these strategies further, Dr. Greene’s new nonprofit, Lives in the Balance, offers a wealth of information for free. Their website outlines the CPS model beautifully and is an excellent tool for anyone looking to transform how they support children. Here are the specific resources I recommend:

• The ASUP Form: Download the free assessment tool here.

• CPS Cheat Sheet: I’ve put together a practical guide based on my workshop notes for educators, parents, and professionals. Download it below

Dr. Green CPS Cheat Sheet.pdf

Download PDF • 528KB

Final Thoughts

If you have ever found yourself feeling stuck in cycles of correction, escalation, shutdown, or blame, I really believe this framework is worth learning. Inclusion is not just about welcoming kids in; it is about understanding what they are communicating and creating environments where they can succeed.

If that is work your school, church, synagogue, camp, or organization is trying to do, I’d love to connect. At NeuroInclusive Consulting, this is exactly the kind of shift I care about helping spaces make.